How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? Three - one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company. What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge. What do you call 5000 dead criminal defense lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull? Jewelry. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving. How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, and then on the other. Ho w do you get a group of personal injury lawyers to smile for a picture? Just say "Fe es!" "You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?" "Well, your Honour," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and no